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Пишет gulidar ([info]gulidar)
@ 2017-02-22 17:34:00


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You wake up and you realize almost all of your IQ has leaked outside your ears during the night and ended being vaporized because the airconditioner was on and the room was hot, so now most of your IQ turned into vapor and spreaded across the house and maybe even outside the house. You realize you almost left with no IQ in your head. You forgot all the French you have learned and you can only speak primitive language (English). You try to get to the kitchen to make a sandwich but you get stuck in the chair with your pinky toe and it hurts. You want to phone your mother but you forgot her number, so you look in your phone but you get distracted because of your TV, your favorite show is on it's Spongebob Squarepants, amazingly you still understand all the jokes.

So you want to visit your girlfriend, but you forgot where she lives, so you knock on your neighbour's door and you tell him "Hello sir, I have lost all my IQ and I don't know where my girlfriend lives" and he tells you "I am sorry, I already donated at the office." and then you knock in your other neighbour door's who is a Muslim terrorist from ISIS and you tell him "Kill me now, I lost all my IQ and I don't remember how to live my life" and he tells you "I am sorry, I already detonated at the office", and he is in fact dead, but you did not realized it because you have no IQ and you talked to a dead mutilated corpse.

So you decide to go to a police station and you say the policeman "Hello Mr. Police, I have lost my IQ, I think it was stolen by thieves, maybe you have seen it?" and the policeman says "Yes, we have located some IQ it is located in our investigation room please with me". Then you come with him to the investigation room of the police and there you see IQ on the table and the policeman tells you "Is this your IQ?" and you say "I don't know, let me check out" and you put the IQ inside your head - you gently slip it through your right ear into your brains - and then you realize this is not your IQ, it is the IQ of some chick who lost it and you now think like a woman. You tell the policeman that the room is decorated in good taste and that the color of his hat fits his eyes. Then suddenly this chick going inside and telling "excuse me, gentile-men, I have lost my IQ and I need it back" and you say "Oh sorry sister, I have taken your IQ here come takes it back" and she stick her tongue in your ear and she slowly drinks her IQ back to her brains just like dog uses its tongue to drink water from its bowl and once again you remain with no IQ and you are sad.

So you decide to go to school because this is where people get IQ, so you go to a school and you find a teacher and you say "excuse me a teacher, maybe you can teach me how to get IQ, because I have no idea about the whereabouts of mine" and the teacher says "yes of course come to class and you will get a lot of IQ because I am a good teacher"
Then at class you sit with all the children and they stare at you and they tell you "What are you doing here, you are not a child" and you say "yes is it true I am not a children but I lost my IQ and my brains is empty so I want to fill my head with new IQ please understand" but they do not understand and they just laugh on you and throw stuff at your, such as paper planes, for instance, and you become even more sad than you ever were. Suddenly this one kid comes to you and he says "Hello my name is billy McRectangles, this is my name because I can only draw rectangles" and you say "how do you know you can only draw a rectangles" and he says "Ipso facto. Tell me to draw a circle, for instance" and you say "draw a circle percent, for installs" and he draws a rectangle and you say "oh wow this is really a rectangle" and he tells you "told you" and you both laugh and become good friends and you are less sad then you were even though you are still sad because you have no IQ in your brains.

And then you go to the yard with Billy McRectangles and he draws a rectangle on the sand and you sit inside the rectangle and he tells you "You know I am afraid because next week there will be a test and we will have to draw a triangle and I can only draw rectangles." and you tell him "I will show you how to draw a triangles" and you take a small stick and you draw a triangle in the sand and it is very precise Billy McRectangles is so surprised that he says that you must be a genius because you can draw a precise rectangle in the sand and he tells you "if you had no IQ you could not have drawn such triangle" and you say "for real?" and he tells you "Ipso facto." and then you realize that maybe you had your IQ all along and you step out of Billy McRectangles's rectangle and you tell him "cya later buddy" and you go to the teacher and you say to the teacher "I think I got my IQ again so please make me IQ exam and exam my IQ" and the teacher makes you an IQ exam in which he puts a thermometer in your brains and it tells your IQ and the teacher says "the therometer says you have a lot of IQ, don't you worry" and you feel very happy and you go home to watch Spongebob Squarepants.

Epilogue

After a week Billy McRectangles had a test and the teacher said to him "Please draw a triangle, my student Billy McRectangles" and Billy McRectangles said "I cannot do so because according to Platonic Realism no actual ideal triangle exists" and the teacher says to Billy McRectangles "This is a good answer, you are now a genius, but how did you become a genius in one week?" and Billy McRectangles says "I knew this one guy he said he had no IQ but he was the smartest person I have ever know and I am like 8 years old and that's a lot of years to know people" and both the teacher and Billy McRectangles agreed that Billy is a good student and when he went back home at the evening his mother made him and his (older) sister a nice cake because it was his (older) sister's birthday and they ate the cake and it was a good cake and it was a nice birthday.


(Добавить комментарий)


[info]zugololeron
2017-02-22 17:17 (ссылка)
нихуя ни понил((

(Ответить) (Ветвь дискуссии)


(Анонимно)
2017-02-22 17:31 (ссылка)
There is because you have no IQ in your brains.
Just go to school because this is where people get IQ.

(Ответить) (Уровень выше) (Ветвь дискуссии)


[info]anxuman
2017-02-22 17:45 (ссылка)

(Ответить) (Уровень выше)


[info]geladen
2017-02-23 01:52 (ссылка)
отличная вообще телега.
а отчего на английском?

(Ответить) (Ветвь дискуссии)


[info]gulidar
2017-02-23 22:00 (ссылка)
На каком автор писал - на таком я и скопипастил.

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[info]geladen
2017-02-24 00:13 (ссылка)
ишьты. а кто писал?

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[info]gulidar
2017-02-24 03:18 (ссылка)
Анонимный израильтянин

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