Настроение:	contemplative
Музыка:	Takeshi Seyama - Kibou to Yochou

"Killing Hamsters"
People love to accuse me that I burned a hamster.
But they don't really know what led to that.
Back then I tried to date cis girls.
The chats progressed in super awkward ways.

I tried to talk with one about home animals.
I clearly remember how she said then:
"Hamsters are cute, you're not."
That was a big revelation for me.
Something autistic me couldn't grasp before.

So I confirmed that by asking others if
the hamsters are cuter than me.
And why they are cute.
That kinda helped me to understand.
Why everything around me evolves into hostility.

But if I'm not allowed to be cute why should others be?
At that point I felt hatred and envy towards hamsters.
So I murdered one brutally and posted a video to imageboard.
I haven't visited any other place than imageboards.
Since alternate places don't welcome my personality.


Should an ugly person feel remorse for ruining something beautiful?
Does the humanity feel remorse for making me creepy and ugly?
Why should I?