As well as a compact between ourelves and society, parents and the children we love, we also propose a code of ethics between ourselves and the young people specifically. This creed or covenant represents a list of pledges we aim to keep in any romantic relationship we enter into.
I will always treat you with dignity and respect.
This is a commitment to treating a young person in such a way that they are not humiliated or embarrassed either in public or in private. A childlover explains without being condescending but also without talking above the young person’s head. He treats the young person as an individual rather than as an object or a possession and strives to ensure that that individuality is not suppressed or occluded by the force of his personality.
I will always put your well-being ahead of my own.
This is a recognition that a young person may not always be able to ensure his safety as effectively as an adult. A childlover endeavors to protect the young person in any way he can, including risking his own life or well-being to ensure the safety of the young person. In an emotional sense, this is a commitment to not leaving a young person to face the social consequences of a relationship on his own.
I will always give to you first before accepting anything from you.
This is a commitment to ensure that the balance in the relationship always remains in favor of the young person. A childlover strives to make sure that in all things — love, affection, pleasure and material items — that the young person always receives more than he gives. He aims to give without expecting anything in return and actively looks for ways to bring happiness to the young person.
I will always stop when you tell me to stop.
This is a very important promise. It recognizes that a young person should always feel in control of any situation and that he may change his mind about anything that he has previously agreed to do. A childlover is always sensitive to the tempo that the young person sets for any activity. He will not try to pursue any physical or emotional activity that the young person states that he wants to suspend or is not comfortable with.
I will always avoid the use of force, coercion or manipulation to get my way with you.
This ensures that anything that occurs in a relationship is fully voluntary from both sides. A childlover will not continue to pester a young person to do things he has already stated he does not want to do, and will not use unfair forms of persuasion or take advantage of his age, size, strength or experience in such ways that induce a young person to do something he does not want to do.
I will always do my utmost to ensure that no physical or emotional harm comes to you.
Similar in some aspects to the second commitment, this one is more preventive in nature. This means avoiding dangerous situations or activities that can lead to physical harm, including refraining from any intimate activities that could cause bodily injury to the young person. This also means conducting a relationship in such a way that the young person does not become a subject of derision or ridicule in his community.
I will always strive to encourage and contribute to your emotional, intellectual and spiritual development.
A young person is still developing and growing in many ways. A childlover recognizes this and is eager to help this development. Helping a young person discover the world through academic and intellectual pursuits, guiding a young person through new feelings and emotions that he may experience and striving to help him realize his true potential and completeness as a human being are of paramount importance.
I will always answer your questions with honesty and sensitivity.
Young people have many questions and deserve to be given answers that respect their curiosity and their right to know the truth both about the world around them and about the relationship that they are involved in. A childlover is committed to not misleading answers and endeavors to be honest even when the questions are uncomfortable. At the same time, he strives to answer with tact and sensitivity to the young person’s feelings.
I will always respect your opinions, thoughts and wishes.
This is an affirmation of the individuality of the young person and his freedom of thought. A childlover does not try to enforce his worldview on the young person and allows him to disagree and to have his own opinions without fear of retribution. He is gracious in disagreement and gentle in argument, preferring persuasion and fairness to deceit and belligerence.
I will always ask rather than assume.
This is a recognition of the fact that a young person may be reluctant to actively oppose something he may feel uncomfortable with. A childlover, rather than assuming that silence equals agreement, seeks to engage the young person in any decision-making process and looks for signs of active, rather than passive, agreement. He is also sensitive to non-verbal cues that belie his spoken words.