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That's what being a Protestant's all about
О сакральности гондона рассказывает нам
"MONTY PYTHON'S MEANING OF LIFE"

MR. HARRY BLACKITT: Look at them, bloody
Catholics, filling the bloody world up with bloody
people they can't afford to bloody feed.

MRS. BLACKITT: What are we dear?

MR. BLACKITT: Protestant, and fiercely proud of it.

MRS. BLACKITT: Hmm. Well, why do they have so many children?

MR. BLACKITT: Because... every time they
have sexual intercourse, they have to
have a baby.

MRS. BLACKITT: But it's the same with us, Harry.

MR. BLACKITT: What do you mean?

MRS. BLACKITT: Well, I mean, we've got two children, and we've had sexual
intercourse twice.

MR. BLACKITT: That's not the point. We could have it any time we wanted.

MRS. BLACKITT: Really?

MR. BLACKITT: Oh, yes, and, what's more, because we don't believe in all that
Papist claptrap, we can take precautions.

MRS. BLACKITT: What, you mean... lock the door?

MR. BLACKITT: No, no. I mean, because we are members of the Protestant
Reformed Church, which successfully challenged the autocratic power of the
Papacy in the mid-sixteenth century, we can
wear little rubber devices to prevent issue.

MRS. BLACKITT: What d'you mean?

MR. BLACKITT: I could, if I wanted, have sexual intercourse with you,...

MRS. BLACKITT: Oh, yes, Harry.

MR. BLACKITT: ...and, by wearing a rubber sheath over my old feller, I could
insure... that, when I came off, you would not be impregnated.

MRS. BLACKITT: Ooh!

MR. BLACKITT: That's what being a
Protestant's all about. That's why it's the
church for me. That's why it's the church
for anyone who respects the individual
and the individual's right to decide for
him or herself. When Martin Luther nailed
his protest up to the church door in fifteen-seventeen,
he may not have realised the full significance of what
he was doing, but four hundred years later, thanks to
him, my dear, I can wear whatever I want on my John
Thomas,... [sniff] ...and, Protestantism doesn't stop
at the simple condom! Oh, no! I can wear French
Ticklers if I want.

MRS. BLACKITT: You what?

MR. BLACKITT: French Ticklers. Black Mambos. Crocodile Ribs. Sheaths that
are designed not only to protect, but also to enhance the
stimulation of sexual congress.

MRS. BLACKITT: Have you got one?

MR. BLACKITT: Have I got one? Uh, well, no,
but I can go down the road any time
I want and walk into Harry's and hold
my head up high and say in a loud,
steady voice, 'Harry, I want you to sell me
a condom. In fact, today, I think I'll have
a French Tickler, for I am a Protestant.'

MRS. BLACKITT: Well, why don't you?

MR. BLACKITT: But they-- Well, they cannot, 'cause their church never made
the great leap out of the Middle Ages and the domination of alien episcopal
supremacy.

NARRATOR #1: But, despite the attempts of Protestants to promote the idea of
sex for pleasure, children continued to multiply everywhere.