Точно не поймут :)

Правда, Homo Erectus уже был ;)

Вот... Особенно #8 замечательный.

GENUINE EXCERPTS FROM LETTERS SENT TO LANDLORDS:

1. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it
is cleared.

2. I want some repairs done to my stove as it has backfired and burnt
my knob off.

3. This is to let you know that there is a smell coming from the man
next door.

4. The toilet seat is cracked: where do I stand?

5. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is running away from the
wall.

6. I request your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

7. Our toilet seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.

8. The person next door has a large erection in his backyard, which is
unsightly and dangerous.

9. Will you please send someone to repair our cracked sidewalk.
Yesterday
my wife tripped on it and is now pregnant.

10. Our kitchen floor is very damp, we have two children and would like
to have a third, so will you please send someone to do something
about it.

11. Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny color
and not fit to drink.

12. Could you please send someone to fix the faucet in our bathtub.
My wife got her toe stuck in it and it is very uncomfortable for us.

13. I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning
at
5:30 his cock wakes me up, and it is getting too much.

14. When the workmen were here they put their tools in my wife's new
drawers and made a mess. Please send men with clean tools to finish
the job and keep my wife happy.

Что-то это мне смутно напоминает...
"Стойкий оловянный вибратор" 8-))