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Пишет prokhozhyj (![[info]](http://lj.rossia.org/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} prokhozhyj)@ 2006-04-04 16:38:00 |
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Копаясь в архивах / Письма с моря / Байки
Warning! Mainly in English!
Про словарик
В далёком уже 2002 г. мы болтались по Атлантическому океану в странной компании: на корабле ("Академик Мстислав Келдыш") сидела большая группа киношников Дж.Камерона, снимавшая глубоководный мегаформатный документальный 3D фильм 'Aliens of the Deep' об жизни на "чёрных курильщиках" гидротерм. В коридорчике у них была доска объявлений, на которой, помимо расписания съёмок и тому подобных нужных мелочей, временами появлялись вполне очаровательные бумажки, писанные весёлым мужиком из их группы. Одну из них я тут и воспроизвожу. (Содержит английскую сакральную лексику!)
NOTICE TO ALL EMPLOYEES
Based on past expedition experience, we have found that some employees when faced with difficult working conditions and/or confrontational personalities, tend to resort to inappropriately foul language. However we recognize the importance of each person being able to adequately convey their feelings when communicating with their fellow employees. So in the interest of maintaining mutual respect and harmony onboard the Keldysh we have compiled the following code phrases, so that the requisite exchange of ideas and information can be properly achieved.
OLD PHRASE = NEW PHRASE
No fucking way! = I'm certain that's feasible.
You've got to be shifting me. = Really?!
Tell someone who gives a fuck. = Perhaps you could check with...
Ask me if I give i fuck. = Of course I'm concerned.
It's not my fucking problem. = I wasn't involved with that project.
What the fuck? = Interesting behavior.
Fuck it, it won't work. = I'm not sure I can implement that.
When the fuck do you expect me to do this? = Perhaps I can work late.
Who the fuck cares? = Are you sure it's a problem?
He's got his head up his ass. = He's not familiar with the problem.
Eat shit. = You don't say.
Eat shit and die. = Excuse me.
Eat shit and die motherfucker. = Excuse me, sir.
What the fuck do they want from my life? = They weren't happy with it.
Kiss my ass. = So you'd like my help with it.
Fuck it. I'm on salary. = I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
Shove it up your ass. = I don't think you understand.
The job sucks. = I love a challenge.
Who the hell died and made you boss? = You want me to take care of this?
Blow me. = I see.
Blow yourself. = Do you see?
Another fucking meeting. = Yes, we should discuss this.
I really don't give a shit. = I don't think it will be a problem.
Why the fuck didn't you tell me sooner? = I'll try to schedule that.
Fuck you. = How nice. How very nice.
Warning! Mainly in English!В далёком уже 2002 г. мы болтались по Атлантическому океану в странной компании: на корабле ("Академик Мстислав Келдыш") сидела большая группа киношников Дж.Камерона, снимавшая глубоководный мегаформатный документальный 3D фильм 'Aliens of the Deep' об жизни на "чёрных курильщиках" гидротерм. В коридорчике у них была доска объявлений, на которой, помимо расписания съёмок и тому подобных нужных мелочей, временами появлялись вполне очаровательные бумажки, писанные весёлым мужиком из их группы. Одну из них я тут и воспроизвожу. (Содержит английскую сакральную лексику!)
Based on past expedition experience, we have found that some employees when faced with difficult working conditions and/or confrontational personalities, tend to resort to inappropriately foul language. However we recognize the importance of each person being able to adequately convey their feelings when communicating with their fellow employees. So in the interest of maintaining mutual respect and harmony onboard the Keldysh we have compiled the following code phrases, so that the requisite exchange of ideas and information can be properly achieved.
OLD PHRASE = NEW PHRASE
No fucking way! = I'm certain that's feasible.
You've got to be shifting me. = Really?!
Tell someone who gives a fuck. = Perhaps you could check with...
Ask me if I give i fuck. = Of course I'm concerned.
It's not my fucking problem. = I wasn't involved with that project.
What the fuck? = Interesting behavior.
Fuck it, it won't work. = I'm not sure I can implement that.
When the fuck do you expect me to do this? = Perhaps I can work late.
Who the fuck cares? = Are you sure it's a problem?
He's got his head up his ass. = He's not familiar with the problem.
Eat shit. = You don't say.
Eat shit and die. = Excuse me.
Eat shit and die motherfucker. = Excuse me, sir.
What the fuck do they want from my life? = They weren't happy with it.
Kiss my ass. = So you'd like my help with it.
Fuck it. I'm on salary. = I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
Shove it up your ass. = I don't think you understand.
The job sucks. = I love a challenge.
Who the hell died and made you boss? = You want me to take care of this?
Blow me. = I see.
Blow yourself. = Do you see?
Another fucking meeting. = Yes, we should discuss this.
I really don't give a shit. = I don't think it will be a problem.
Why the fuck didn't you tell me sooner? = I'll try to schedule that.
Fuck you. = How nice. How very nice.
