Для тех, кто знает английский :) ( прислал друг мне на мыло )
> Only a Genius Can Learn English!
>>
>> If you ever feel stupid, then just read on. If you've learned to speak
>> fluent English, you must be a genius! This little treatise on the
>> lovely language we share is only for the brave. Peruse at your
>> leisure,
>> English lovers.
>>
>> Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:
>> 1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
>> 2) The farm was used to produce produce.
>> 3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
>> 4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
>> 5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
>> 6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
>> 7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to
>> present the present.
>> 8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
>> 9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
>> 10) I did not object to the object.
>> 11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
>> 12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
>
>> 13) They were too close to the door to close it.
>> 14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
>> 15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
>> 16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
>> 17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
>> 18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
>> 19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
>> 20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
>> 21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
>>
>> Why? How come?
>>
>> There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor
>> pine in pineapple.
>>
>> English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.
>>
>> Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is
>> neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
>>
>> And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't
>> groce and hammers don't ham?
>>
>> If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?
>
>> One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?
>>
>> Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend. If
>> you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them,
>> what
>> do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end?
>>
>> If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats
>> vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
>>
>> In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
>>
>> Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
>>
>> Have noses that run and feet that smell?
>>
>> How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man
>> and a wise guy are opposites?
>>
>> You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
>> house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by
>> filling
>> it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.
>>
>> English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the
>> creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.
>>
>
>> That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the
>> lights are out, they are invisible.
>>
>> P.S. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?/