(no subject)
May. 20th, 2024 | 06:35 pm
Давно не смеялся всем пузом
To prove his psychoanalytical-paranormal hypothesis—which, late in life, Sigmund Freud specifically endorsed as a matter of medical “science”—Fodor inspected a number of incredibly bizarre and perverted hauntings such as that of a London lady named Gertrude, haunted by a dead man named Charles, who had fallen in love with her from beyond the grave. As Charles had only an astral body, not a fleshly one, this proved quite a problem when it came to subsequent acts of carnal union.
According to Fodor, “The remedy that Charles found was unprintable in a respectable journal of psychical research.” The Haunted Mind was not a terribly respectable book, however, so Fodor felt free to tell the whole story himself there. At the instigation of Charles, an “instrument” was purchased by Gertrude and handed over to a willing female medium to wear whenever she came to visit—a strap-on dildo. The medium would go into a trance, be possessed by Charles, and allow Gertrude to hop aboard and ride the dead man by proxy.
This was handy because, “by reason of heart trouble,” Gertrude’s living husband was wholly unable to satisfy his wife with his own real-life “instrument,” thereby causing the figure of “Charles” (who was actually naught but a ghostly projection of the frustrated wife’s continued desire for sex) to manifest in the first place. Via such phantom sex-therapy, Gertrude “blossomed and became younger and more beautiful,” but after three years tragedy struck: Her husband found the “instrument” in question and “accidentally” stood on and smashed it. For some reason Gertrude couldn’t obtain another, said Fodor, “And that was the end of the fountain of youth.”
Due to his unbelievably strange activities (I won’t mention the woman he found who could produce live birds and small archaeological exhibits to order from inside her haunted front-hole), Fodor ultimately ended up being sacked by the shocked old ladies who ran the psychical research institute for which he worked in London. There was even a scandalous court case in which he tried to sue a leading Spiritualist newspaper for essentially suggesting he was just a massive pervert—making him ultimately feel compelled to move to New York, where massive perverts were made to feel far more welcome, at least amongst the expatriate Freudian Jewish analyst community.
...
According to one 2018 survey, a greater proportion of lesbians have seen ghosts than straight ladies have; The New Yorker argues this may be because, just like poltergeists, sapphists have traditionally been socially invisible. Or something. On the other hand, according to a report issued by the Spiritual Science Research Foundation, an amazing 85 percent of homos are only attracted to other men because they are unknowingly possessed by penis-hungry straight female spirits. It’s vice versa for strap-on-wielding lesbians possessed by dead men: direct shades of the Charles and Gertrude case from Fodor’s old casebook.
https://www.takimag.com/article/nan
To prove his psychoanalytical-paranormal hypothesis—which, late in life, Sigmund Freud specifically endorsed as a matter of medical “science”—Fodor inspected a number of incredibly bizarre and perverted hauntings such as that of a London lady named Gertrude, haunted by a dead man named Charles, who had fallen in love with her from beyond the grave. As Charles had only an astral body, not a fleshly one, this proved quite a problem when it came to subsequent acts of carnal union.
According to Fodor, “The remedy that Charles found was unprintable in a respectable journal of psychical research.” The Haunted Mind was not a terribly respectable book, however, so Fodor felt free to tell the whole story himself there. At the instigation of Charles, an “instrument” was purchased by Gertrude and handed over to a willing female medium to wear whenever she came to visit—a strap-on dildo. The medium would go into a trance, be possessed by Charles, and allow Gertrude to hop aboard and ride the dead man by proxy.
This was handy because, “by reason of heart trouble,” Gertrude’s living husband was wholly unable to satisfy his wife with his own real-life “instrument,” thereby causing the figure of “Charles” (who was actually naught but a ghostly projection of the frustrated wife’s continued desire for sex) to manifest in the first place. Via such phantom sex-therapy, Gertrude “blossomed and became younger and more beautiful,” but after three years tragedy struck: Her husband found the “instrument” in question and “accidentally” stood on and smashed it. For some reason Gertrude couldn’t obtain another, said Fodor, “And that was the end of the fountain of youth.”
Due to his unbelievably strange activities (I won’t mention the woman he found who could produce live birds and small archaeological exhibits to order from inside her haunted front-hole), Fodor ultimately ended up being sacked by the shocked old ladies who ran the psychical research institute for which he worked in London. There was even a scandalous court case in which he tried to sue a leading Spiritualist newspaper for essentially suggesting he was just a massive pervert—making him ultimately feel compelled to move to New York, where massive perverts were made to feel far more welcome, at least amongst the expatriate Freudian Jewish analyst community.
...
According to one 2018 survey, a greater proportion of lesbians have seen ghosts than straight ladies have; The New Yorker argues this may be because, just like poltergeists, sapphists have traditionally been socially invisible. Or something. On the other hand, according to a report issued by the Spiritual Science Research Foundation, an amazing 85 percent of homos are only attracted to other men because they are unknowingly possessed by penis-hungry straight female spirits. It’s vice versa for strap-on-wielding lesbians possessed by dead men: direct shades of the Charles and Gertrude case from Fodor’s old casebook.
https://www.takimag.com/article/nan
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(no subject)
May. 20th, 2024 | 07:21 pm
За тридцать лет жизни в Австралии всё оно как-то примелькалось и приелось, но некоторые социальные привычки коренных граждан Мельбурна и его окрестностей по-прежнему ставят меня в тупик.
Ходил по пляжу с металлоискателем и наблюдал сразу два таких нюанса образа жизни.
Нюанс первый .Стоянка для автомашин; через бордюр начинается довольно чистенький песочек, а за ним плещутся невысокие волны залива Port Philip.
На стоянке с десяток автомашин и даже грузовиков. В каждом сидит один человек или максимум двое, и едят сэндвичи и всякое такое. Это так некоторые люди проводят обеденный перерыв на работе. Но не только - некоторые специально приезжают к пляжу съесть например куриную ногу, купленную в KFC неподалеку.
Ни одному не приходит в голову выйти из машины и размяться или поболтать ногой в волне.
Всё взаимодействие со стихиями сводится к так сказать к картинке на широкоформатном экране лобового стекла.
Другой нюанс.
На пляж регулярно выходят люди, чаще женского пола, с собакой. Собака понятно воспринимает пляж как гигантский сортир. Собачья моча это ладно, а кал большинство хозяев собирает в чОрные пластиковые мешочки, которые завязываются бантиком. Большинство этих мешочков затем бросается на том же пляже. ЧОрные бантики напоминают мне что-то кладбищенское, в памяти всплывает "кенотаф". Так оно и есть, это прижизненные памятники ихним любимцам. Собачий кал в них сохранится на долгие десятилетия и доставит радость археологам будущего.
Ходил по пляжу с металлоискателем и наблюдал сразу два таких нюанса образа жизни.
Нюанс первый .Стоянка для автомашин; через бордюр начинается довольно чистенький песочек, а за ним плещутся невысокие волны залива Port Philip.
На стоянке с десяток автомашин и даже грузовиков. В каждом сидит один человек или максимум двое, и едят сэндвичи и всякое такое. Это так некоторые люди проводят обеденный перерыв на работе. Но не только - некоторые специально приезжают к пляжу съесть например куриную ногу, купленную в KFC неподалеку.
Ни одному не приходит в голову выйти из машины и размяться или поболтать ногой в волне.
Всё взаимодействие со стихиями сводится к так сказать к картинке на широкоформатном экране лобового стекла.
Другой нюанс.
На пляж регулярно выходят люди, чаще женского пола, с собакой. Собака понятно воспринимает пляж как гигантский сортир. Собачья моча это ладно, а кал большинство хозяев собирает в чОрные пластиковые мешочки, которые завязываются бантиком. Большинство этих мешочков затем бросается на том же пляже. ЧОрные бантики напоминают мне что-то кладбищенское, в памяти всплывает "кенотаф". Так оно и есть, это прижизненные памятники ихним любимцам. Собачий кал в них сохранится на долгие десятилетия и доставит радость археологам будущего.