techno !


you know you love techno if:

1. you feel like dancing to these sounds:
- washing machine
- copy machine
- helicopter
- heartbeat
- train station
- carwash

2. the 5 foot speakers at a techno party are your dancing partner.

3. you personally know all of the local techno djs in your area.

4. your ideal boyfriend would look like the plastikman: richie hawtin.

5. you own a "techno" shirt.

6. you know the distinctions between techno and trance.

7. you live life in a monotonous way.

8. every cd in your car is a live mix or pa.

9. you can picture a loop at different sounds in the day.

10. your pet's name is umek, cari or marco.

11. your girlfriend is jealous of your love for the beat.

12. you endlessly search for your soul at a techno party.

13. you think the music forms complex equations and emotions.

14. you make bjork spiral pig-tails in your daughter's hair... and you think it's normal for her to walk out of the house that way.

15. your partner has to repeat herself like a loop for you to understand her view.

16. you melt at the sound of bass.

17. your wedding song is by kraftwerk.

18. your cell phone ring is "techno" music.

19. the house is completely empty, except for a wall of speakers, mixers and keyboards, cables and turntables.

20. You not only tap in time to the indicators on your car, but know how many BPM they flash at.

21. Last Christmas you synced your Christmas tree lights to your TB-303.

22. You've dialed the phone number 1-303-808-9091 just to see what happens.

23. You know that 303 is an area code in Colorado, 808 is an area code in hawaii, and 909 is an area code in Southern California... oh and you know 313 is the area code for detroit area

24. You have bass bins for end tables.

25. You start wondering if you can obtain a 24 db neural implant to filter your ever-increasing tinnitus problem.

26. When you hear a handclap being used in a track, you try to listen very carefully to determine whether it's the clap from the 909, or the 808

via tais@lj