a gay friend of mine told me about some sheet of paper he had, which listed the 7 steps of coming-out. He really liked the 7th one: realizing that his orientation isn't the most salient part of who he is, tha this is just somehwere in the middle of the list of adjectives.

So my intuition is that when you just come out it appears to make you stand out and you at first identify yourdelf first and foremost as gay or whatever, then sri lankan, then a student, then maybe middle class, etc.. but at the end of the coming-out process the fact that you happen to be gay or bi moves down below many many more important personal characteristics.

I agree with you is what I am trying to say :) I'm commenting just becase human sexuality has always fascinated me