A Prayer of Mother Earth

And the Earth became infected with the vile Muslim.
The skies were dark with soot and the smell of death.
And people lived in fear.
Grain did not grow and the animals were sick and died.

And it came to pass, the Earth saith:
“I am sick and my life is unhappy when the Muslim walks on my land and breathes my air.
All good men, find the Muslim and strike him at the neck, of all Muslims!
Smite ye above their necks and smite all their finger-tips off them.
Against them make ready your strength to the utmost of your power,
Including steeds of war, to strike terror into the hearts of the vile Muslim.
Some ye slew, and some ye make prisoners.
Destroy their dwellings!
Destroy their seed that no Muslim shall be born unto the Earth.”

The dirty Muslims hid behind the rocks and the trees, but the rocks and the trees cry out:
“There is a filthy Muslim behind me, come and smite him.
For surely they are sons and daughters of Pigs and Monkeys!”

And the Muslim fled like a crazy man with fear in his mind and terror in his eyes!
But he was not swift enough.
For the Earth found and catch every one of the vile Muslim.
And the Muslim was struck at his neck.
And the Muslim blood flowed like the waters of the river Nile.
Until all Muslims on Earth were smited.

And Lo, Behold.
The world became clean and the air fresh when the Muslims were no more.

And the Earth was happy.
And people lived in peace and the Earth was good.

In the name of our Mother Earth,
For ever and ever,

Amen