Grief recovery, talking

This is advice about talking with people who are grieving, from someone who has listened to many grieving people talk about it. As I read the article, I thought of the friends and relatives I have lost. I have a list of the people I've lost via death, and every so often I go through it and think about each one of them.

I frequently felt grief for the English language while reading the article, each time I came across plural pronouns and verbs alternating with singular pronouns and verbs, referring to the same one person.

I have never understand the idea that it was obligatory to try desperately to avoid reminding someone about a loss. In my experience, I recall a raw loss frequently, whether anyone reminds me about it or not. That's what the author says, too.

Recalling the death of a friend years ago is not agony, more of a distant regret. It reminds me of feeling at ease with that person in the past. By contrast, recalling an old rejection can be devastating, since it was probably my fault.