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Евгений Вассерштром

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[May. 20th, 2009|11:20 am]
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the worst age difference between siblings is 20 to 28 months.
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From:[info]avva@lj
Date:May 20th, 2009 - 01:29 pm
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Why? Could you be more specific?
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From:[info]watertank@lj
Date:May 20th, 2009 - 01:53 pm
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20-28 (18-36) months is the so-called Terrible Twos period in child's development.
Having a newborn that requires a lot of attention and a toddler that demands even more attention can be really tough on parents. Besides, the toddler might do something bad to his/her younger sibling because you asked him/her not to (oppositional behavior).
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From:[info]avva@lj
Date:May 20th, 2009 - 01:57 pm
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What about later, when the children are aged 5 and 7, or 10 and 12? Is there benefit to 2 years difference then as opposed to larger difference?
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From:[info]watertank@lj
Date:May 20th, 2009 - 02:14 pm
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Here's a 1985 study that talks a little bit about the topic. You can probably find more if you dig into papers that reference it.

http://abutler.net/trc/publications/pdfs/Children%27s%20perceptions%20of%20the%20qualities%20of%20sibling%20relationships%2028.pdf

When they [siblings] were 4 or more years older, they engaged in the greatest amount of nurturant and caretaking behavior. Children also reported less admiration of their sibling when the age spacing was narrow than when it was wide.

There was a significant effect of age difference on the Conflict factor scores, with children reporting more conflict with narrow-spaced siblings than with widespaced siblings. Similar effects were observed on the quarreling, antagonism, and competition scales. Additionally, children reported quarreling more with narrow-spaced older siblings than wide-spaced older siblings or younger siblings.
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From:[info]soshesays@lj
Date:May 20th, 2009 - 01:36 pm
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Agree.
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From:[info]watertank@lj
Date:May 20th, 2009 - 08:20 pm
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Why?
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From:[info]soshesays@lj
Date:May 20th, 2009 - 08:46 pm
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Just purely anecdotal evidence -- it seems like most of the siblings I know that are 20-28 months apart had extreme sibling rivalry issues, and aren't very close as adults. On the other hand, siblings that are a little closer or a little farther apart seem to get along better. No studies to quote.
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From:[info]lolaley@lj
Date:May 20th, 2009 - 05:47 pm
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мои дети росли парами - 15 мес и 20 мес, мне это, как раз, очень нравится
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From:[info]watertank@lj
Date:May 20th, 2009 - 05:58 pm
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а, может, если разница была бы больше, то понравилось еще сильнее? :)
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From:[info]lolaley@lj
Date:May 20th, 2009 - 06:05 pm
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мое мнение - худшая разница 4-5 лет и больше
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From:[info]watertank@lj
Date:May 20th, 2009 - 06:14 pm
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почему?
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From:[info]lolaley@lj
Date:May 20th, 2009 - 06:38 pm
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когда между детьми разница в возрасте год-два, они растут вместе: вместе играют, вместе читают, вместе хулиганят и т.д., более старшим детям (то, что я видела своими глазами) младшие мешают, у них своя компания, и младший лишний
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From:[info]watertank@lj
Date:May 20th, 2009 - 06:52 pm
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наверное, это два мальчика или две девочки.

у детей разного пола с близкой разницей обычно больше конфликтов.
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From:[info]lolaley@lj
Date:May 20th, 2009 - 07:19 pm
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в нашей семье больше всего конфликтов между двумя девочками, между девочками и мальчиками конфликтов вообще никогда не было, но я говорила не о наличии или отсутствии конфликтов, наличие конфликтов необязательно показатель чего-то плохого
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From:[info]lolaley@lj
Date:May 20th, 2009 - 07:25 pm
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или хорошего
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From:[info]watertank@lj
Date:May 20th, 2009 - 08:09 pm
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если не секрет, сколько детей в семье? как они идут по полу и возрасту?
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From:[info]lolaley@lj
Date:May 20th, 2009 - 09:49 pm
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две девочки и два мальчика, между парами пять лет
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From:[info]watertank@lj
Date:May 20th, 2009 - 10:30 pm
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Спасибо. Хорошая у вас семья.

Получается, что только один ребенок задевает "опасную зону". Но даже при этом, у него(?) были старшие сестры. То есть, всего одно из трех отношений с братьями-сестрами могло быть "чревато".
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From:[info]lolaley@lj
Date:May 21st, 2009 - 12:48 am
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его страшно не любила младшая девочка, он у нее детство отнял :)