| Honey Banana Whole Wheat Bread |
[Sep. 16th, 2004|09:39 pm] |
Makes a 2 lb loaf
2/3 cup warm water
1 1/2 Tbl sp. olive oil (any vegetable oil would do)
1/4 cup honey
1 egg
1 tsp salt
1 1/2 whole wheat flour
1 1/2 cup bread flour
1 banana, sliced
2 tsp. poppy seads
2 tsp. active dry yeast
Shana Tova! |
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haiku. вольные переводы. ![[info]](http://lj.rossia.org/img/userinfo-lj.gif) synthesizer@lj |
[Sep. 16th, 2004|09:40 pm] |
после обхода
старик на соседней койке
похож на ветошь
doctor's goodbyes
the hospital sick merge back
into worn-out pajamas |
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| spam haibun/haiga |
[Sep. 16th, 2004|09:48 pm] |
I usually don't write about spam. Never. But today's spam was very special. Its tag line said, "Doggy Fucking With Hot Amateur", which sounded almost like haiku to me. A few details appeared to be missing, but I felt I could fill in the holes. Something like:
winter twilight...
doggy fucking
with a hot amateur
Full of sabi, and a bit contemplative, isn't it.
And I thought, "Why amateur?" Why does the spam author's fate lead him into an unmistakably dilettante relationship? Or maybe it is her! Suffering away in this despicable situation without professional help. How sad! This seemingly obscene piece of info-carpet-bombing could be a cry for help from someone forever stuck in a doggy position! Among amateurs! Ah, the cruelty of life...
And then I thought, "Maybe it's only fair". For didn't already centuries ago great Dante Aligieri describe how we should deal with telemarketers and cybersellers of mass sex? Didn't the incredibly imaginative Hieronymus Bosch showed us the way to deal with underachieving fornicators? Yes, they did! Here it is in full glory, illuminated by millions of colors on your super-duper XVGA display:
Precious images!
So, the next time you receive one of those "doggy fucking with hot amateurs" messages please remember this excellent illustration. Close your eyes, and meditatively wish your unknown correspondent to spend the rest of his or her life among Bosch's friendly creatures.
Then open your eyes, and delete the e-mail. It can be contagious. |
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