каждая несчастливая семья несчастлива ... одинаково |
[Feb. 19th, 2007|04:33 pm] |
Four major emotional predictors of divorce ( 92% probability) detected during 10-minute series of conversations about family conflicts between spouses ( of western culture):
1. Criticism ( instead of praising; criticise 10 times more often than happy couples). 2. Contempt ( sneering, asymmetrical tightening of lips ) 3. Defensiveness ( tit-for-tat) 4. Stonewalling ( non-communication; suppression - work by James Gross )
From the study of Levinson(?) and Gutmann(?) ( need to look it up) "Four horses of marital apocalypse".
Emotional "exits" for happy couples: 1. Play and laughter 2. Respect & equality ( do not allow for "loss of face") ( Dickerson and Kimeny(?) review - 2004 ) 3. Forgiveness ( stress dissipation; capitalization - reciprocate on positive - Shelly Gabel (?)) cf. improvisation. 4. Disclosure, sharing of feelings.
"Five good acts for every bad one". |
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Comments: |
the funny thing is that my mom taught me these principles few year ago in a very non-scientific manner :)
for me it took one marriage :) too bad there are no studies on how to avoid mistakes...
fortunately, studies on how to avoid mistakes do exist. the course i am listening right now would be a good example. but, you know, people still like believing in easy solutions to difficult problems. a couple of days ago i discovered that the secret to man's love is anal sex :) one of the top posts in russian lj! not that anal sex is bad. it's just if everybody does it, then there's no advantage for a woman to offer this particular kind of pleasure. a perfect self-defeating sex strategy sold as a "секс-секрет, привораживающий мужчин." i haven't laughed that hard in a while. | |