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aculeata

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Jun. 29th, 2020|08:08 pm

poper
After skills we were done with character creation so we started playing. To speed things up I'd already chosen equipment for the characters while they were allocating skill points and averaging stats to get modifiers; I had plenty of time. With a little fine tuning they were off to try to walk a mile to town. I had one fight prepped to go and then a couple of RP encounters in town for our first and hopefully only session of F.A.T.A.L., here's how that worked out: They got jumped by bandits first, and the first thing we learned is that if you get sworded you die. Within four turns 2/3 of the combattants were dead or dying on both sides. Limbs were hacked off, life points vanished in a single hit, it was brutal. The undisputed high point was when the bugbear bandit gave up on his sword because he couldn't hit anything and tried to wrestle one of the PCs. The wrestling skill works entirely differently from anything else (every mode of combat uses wildly different mechanics naturally). Basically both parties roll wrestling and the winner gets the user in a hold. The type of hold is rendomly generated by rolling 1d10. One of the results is "rape". Yes you can suddenly find yourself raping one of your enemies in combat accidentally. We all stopped for a few moments to let that really sink in. Now my favorite thing happened. Okay, remember the vaginal and anal circumferences we calculated earlier? well if your circumference potential is exceeded you lose a percentage of your hitpoints equal to the percentage by which your maximum circumference is exceeded. So if you try to jam something in there that's 100% too big you lose all of your hitpoints. Well it turns out Bugbears have gigantic dicks and this one rolled up on one of the characters and successfully wrestled him and got the coveted "rape" result. Instant kill (he actually wore the character around like a condom for the rest of the encounter). After seeing that all weapons on both sides were dropped as everybody frantically tried to wrestle-rape their opponents to death. When our lone female (kobold) character tried it she killed herself by raping a male ogre. This is why you pay attention to what race your opponent is in F.A.T.A.L. It turns out all that crap during character creation about orifice and short-arm size isn't just fluff it's INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT AS WELL AS THE BEST WAY TO MURDER PEOPLE.
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