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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in nancygold's LiveJournal:

    [ << Previous 20 ]
    Sunday, June 19th, 2022
    12:17 pm
    Finally some cool remix of Stabbing Westward songs
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGGKt_oD5pw

    Among them Verbitsky's favorite Assemblage 23
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vpctlNgN-c4

    Also remix of the remix of a famous song by The Cure.

    Somehow original songs are just unlistenable in 21st century.

    I can't listen to the original badly mastered the cure. I need remixes of covers.



    Current Mood: amused
    Current Music: Burn (devils night mix)
    Monday, June 13th, 2022
    10:10 pm
    Donw with the tower


    Current Mood: accomplished
    Wednesday, June 8th, 2022
    6:21 pm


    Current Mood: amused
    Tuesday, June 7th, 2022
    5:57 pm
    3:21 pm
    Gaziza sent her new rhymes
    Умираю, люди, засыпаю...
    Закрываю тёмные глаза...
    Почему Любви я не познала,
    Запрещённой, знойной, как роса...

    Лягу в чистом поле я на травы.
    Волосы росою намочу.
    Осторожно, Боги, Вы не правы! -
    Я иду туда, куда хочу...





    Current Mood: sad
    Saturday, June 4th, 2022
    8:08 pm


    Current Mood: cheerful
    Wednesday, June 1st, 2022
    9:43 pm
    TGF-β2 inhibition for hair regrowth?
    Apparently it is possible to block TFG-β locally:
    https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12060393/
    https://jhoonline.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s13045-021-01053-x


    And reducing TGF-β2 increases the duration of hair growth. Then again, one may get cancer if TGF-β stops functioning properly, since it is used for signalling all kinds of shit. And I doubt it alone will fix the follicle miniaturization. More like one will get very long, but thin hair.

    Current Mood: amused
    6:22 pm
    MGMT - crossdressers and furries


    Current Mood: ecstatic
    Current Music: MGMT - Little Dark Age
    1:12 pm
    New Diagnosis
    It doesn't confirm my Russian autism and schizotypal personality disorders, yet confirms gender dysphoria.

    Checkmate, trolls and bullies!!!
    I will never see your Russia ever again!!!
    Enjoy you North Korea yourself!!!
    Hope in a few years I will get to Thailand and Philippines ^__^

    But I'm still sad about the few Russian transgirls I like.
    Hope they will get out.





    Current Mood: cheerful
    Current Music: Anachronox OST
    Tuesday, May 31st, 2022
    3:16 pm
    Rebecca Heineman
    The original programming trans girl:

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rebecca_Heineman

    My idol. Also a transbian. Married to another trans girl ^__^




    Current Mood: ecstatic
    Current Music: Wraith Knight - Deep in the Dungeons of the Dragonlord
    Monday, May 30th, 2022
    9:54 am
    People asked about good video game music
    Here is a nice mix:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjhzXzaikpU


    tracks:
    1. Nights (Drum & Bass Remix) - Club Saturn
    2. Dead End - Ace Combat 2 Soundtrack
    3. Montage - Ace Combat 3 Soundtrack
    4. Silver Stream - Rage Racer Soundtrack
    5. Monkey Shot Expert Stage - Super Monkey Ball 2 OST
    6. Crowded Street (Yang) - Street Fighter 3 2nd Impact OST
    7. Nether Animal - Unreal Tournament 99 GOTY Soundtrack
    8. White Out - 1080 Snowboarding OST
    9. Foregone Destruction (Facing Worlds) - Unreal Tournament
    10. Do you believe (Asley Breedle) - Rollcage OST
    11. Beats from Above (Tetsukazu Nakanishi) - Klonoa Of The Wind: Door To Phantomile Soundtrack



    Current Mood: calm
    Current Music: Angelo Branduardi - Alla Fiera Dell'est
    Saturday, May 28th, 2022
    1:49 pm
    Por Favor Shooter
    I can relate with the trans girl who did the school shooting in Texas.
    That is a very conservative state with no health care for transgender children.
    In other words, she returned normies a favor.
    I hope conservatives are happy now she haven't got her testosterone blockers.
    For each ruined trans life we need to take 24 theirs.
    If you have testosterone - use it for good.
    Fight the gatekeeping conservatives and American fascism!


    Monday, May 23rd, 2022
    9:19 pm
    Got Banned for Prostitution
    Just offered paydates to the guys who messaged me.
    And now got banned.
    Ban reason? - Prostitution is illegal in America.
    And Grind is US company, so they forbid escort.
    Hope Putin will launch a few good nukes to Fashington.
    Americans nazis really need to see their evil Jesus ASAP.
    Land of freedom my ass!!

    The world will be so much better without the conservative American imperialism telling people what they can do with their bodies.

    Wednesday, May 18th, 2022
    9:06 pm
    When I began transitioning
    So whatever people say, I was interested in transgenderism since around 2006:
    https://argonov.livejournal.com/1238.html
    My nickname there is exanode, and I had female avatar back them. archive.org knows

    Shame I haven't transitioned back then. That would have solved all my issues. But I was completely isolated and in depression.

    Argonov after that went completely insane and released music about USSR 2.0 and a war with America. Should have too transitioned in the name of Queer Anarchism and Transhumanism. Otherwise it is impossible to build USSR 40k




    Current Mood: amused
    Current Music: Purple Motion - Second Reality
    5:55 pm
    Got move to the new camp
    I asked if they can move me with Antonina, but they decided to move me closer to psychiatric asylum and crematorium.

    I'm not joking, it is the next area down the road.



    Current Mood: accomplished
    Current Music: Daikatana - Modern Mystery
    Sunday, May 15th, 2022
    8:56 pm
    Spell of Mastery Progress
    Adding more hacks to make the tower work and gets culled properly and its content being uncovered if cursor gets inside.

    Basically I had to introduce entire subsystem to handle such monolithic objects and then integrate it with the existing system.

    Still easier than breaking it into a tileset.




    Current Mood: accomplished
    Thursday, May 12th, 2022
    8:21 pm
    I’m Sorry for the Last Video
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ysdajb4klJ0



    Current Music: Leæther Strip - Worlock
    Saturday, May 7th, 2022
    4:57 am
    Meta-Meta Programming: Fixing the Bugs in Your Thinking
    Reddit banned me for the screenshoted post.
    So first the West tells me to join Russia.
    Then the West bans me when I agree to do that.
    What do the westerners even want from me?
    They don't want me in the west.
    They don't want me in the Russian army either.
    I'm sorry, but if you live in Russia, you have to defend Russia.
    And Russian people and culture too.
    Ukraine tries to genocide Russians and Russian culture.
    Which includes Lenin Komsomol central square.

    People say I should set immigration office door on fire, Pavlensky style.
    Or throw a egg at a Dutch politician.
    Except Dutch immigration service people are right.
    While I was wrong all this time.
    I believed that the West are the good guys.
    Liberals, for the world peace and accept everyone.
    But Russians were right. Westerners are the Nazis.
    Migration officials directly told me that Russians are right and I'm wrong.
    So I have to accept that. I'm crazy but not completely stupid.
    I can see my errors.
    I believed Ukrainians are fighting for freedom.
    But Ukrainians are just a bunch of unwelcoming Nazis.
    Ukrainian immigration service said I have no place in Ukraine.
    Despite my ancestors coming from Ukraine and me supporting Ukraine.
    So now I believe Putin that Ukraine actually murders the Donbass children.

    I'm a computer programmer.
    Sometimes I notice bugs in my software. I fix them.
    Sometimes entire design flaws need to be recognized.
    Same with my political views and hopes.
    The West shown that my views are flawed.
    I have fixed my worldview, just like I fix my programs.
    It was sad, because I had to admit I was wrong.
    That I haven't properly understood what is going on.
    I had to admit that I'm stupid and my thinking was flawed.
    But I had to come over myself and accept my mistakes.
    Same way I noticed that I have bugs with my emotions.
    And I began taking hormones to calm myself down.
    To remove the testosterone induced anger and hatred.
    Admission of errors is the first step to correct them.

    Unfortunately I have to forget the dream of becoming a girl.
    It is not that Putin hates transgenders.
    But the general Russian population is just not ready for that.
    If I want to live in Russia, I have to be in boymode.
    First Russia needs to liberate entire world.
    And only then we can discuss trans-humanism.





    Current Mood: sad
    Current Music: Scandroid - Purified
    Friday, May 6th, 2022
    6:24 pm


    Current Music: Scandroid - Destination Unknown
    Wednesday, May 4th, 2022
    2:05 pm
    Ужасы Голландии
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7xTwRalHww

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