nancygold's Journal

My coming out in NL turned into a disaster (repost from the old account)
"Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen said: The definition of the beard as stated by the scholars of (Arabic) language is: the hair of the face, jawbone and cheeks, in the sense that all the hair on the cheeks, jawbone and chin is part of the beard and removing any of it is counted as a sin, because the Messenger said: “Let your beards grow,” “Leave your beards alone,” “Let your beards increase,” “Let your beards be full.” This indicates that it is not permissible to remove anything from the beard."

"However, none has consented to trimming it (beard) less than that (fist-length), as some westerners and hermaphrodites do. To shave the beard off completely is the practice of the Jews of India and the fire worshippers" (Shaami, page 418, vol.2).

I dream about having silk smooth skin, so I really want to permanently get rid of facial hair, which greatly annoys me. So September 29 I was looking for a place to buy a laser epilator, which damages hair follicles. Among other things I visited a Harderwijk beauty store (the one near Jimbo) and asked if they could remove my facial hair. I was not wearing women's clothes that day and pretended to be as manly as I could (which is not much). Receptionist lady went to consult with the story owner, and returned, saying that they won't do that to a man, because men must have beards. I have also asked if maybe they know about an appliances store selling laser epilators. She said she won't tell me that either. That day, I said "have a nice day and left".

Now September 30, I returned to that beauty shop, but this time wearing women's clothes, a long hair wig, pantyhose, a blouse and some basic BB cream makeup to hide the shaved beard. Again I asked for an appointment to fry with the laser my facial hair (i.e. no intimate parts). Like before, the receptionist lady went to consult with the shop owner. In fact, I have nothing against any of the shop employees, they were nice and friendly, and would probably help even a talking dog, if it came and asked to remove the fur. But the owner apparently told her "no", and in rather not nice words. So the receptionist lady decided to convince me to look for another beauty shop, where it wont result into a conflict. At first the receptionist lady said they can't make an appointment, because everything is booked up. I replied "no problem, book me next week". She replied "next week is booked too." I countered "then next month." After which the receptionist said "our device doesn't work with the male skin", to which I replied "devices don't care about your gender, and there is little difference between male and female skin" and "after all it is my money - just try using it, I won't complain if it fails." The receptionist gave up, and directly said "sorry, we won't serve you, please go away."

I was expecting this response. In fact, in my plan I wanted to expose their rudeness and film it. After that they will either call police, or just let me go away with the recorded video, which I myself planned to present to police, making a discrimination complaint, hoping that police will speak with them and they will change for better.

So I said "don't mind if I record your answer for a police complaint" and began filming with my Galaxy A41. The receptionist lady got scared and kept repeating "we won't serve you, please go away immediately." Suddenly out of the bowels of the shop appeared a postmenopausal Muslim woman - the shop owner (either Turkish or Arabic - I cant tell). Obviously she was unhappy with me filming. With the steel in her voice she said "this is my business and I refuse to serve you.". I didn't know that woman before, so she had no personal enmity for me. I asked "why? is it because I'm gay?" The owner woman refused to reply, repeating just that her shop won't serve me. The scientific term for such women is TERF - trans exclusive radical feminists. It is not unique to Muslims. Good example would Joanne Rowling, who dislikes transgender people and acts as a "gatekeeper", while being non-Muslim.

Continuing the story... I told the store owner "I will stand here, till you name the reason why you refuse to serve me, and if you dislike that please call police." To which the Muslim woman replied "no, we wont call police, that is not how we work here." Instead the Muslim woman went outside of the store and called for help some Muslim guy, who came in together with his friend a Dutch guy. Now, I wasn't blocking the door or preventing the shop from operating, I was standing in a corner, so clients could still enter and get service. When I noticed that lady returning with these gopniks, that was a chance for me to run, which I stupidly missed.

At first the Muslim gopnik tried to intimidate me, pushing me further into the corner till the goods they sell began falling from the stand. I kept filming, while repeatedly saying "please don't touch me, call the police" and "please stop being homophobic." But at one moment the Muslim outright assaulted me, wrestling the phone out of my hand and punching me.

I went after him, hoping to save my phone from being destroyed, but his friend grabbed me and tried to pull out of the shop. I was grasping for different objects around me to stop him from pulling me - all their merchandise was falling onto the floor and breaking. I got out and tried to wrestle the phone for that Muslim, but I'm not that strong, he easily thrown me aside. Panicking, I instead started doing further damage to the shop merchandise, also breaking their reception desk laptop, hoping that this will escalate the conflict enough, they will be forced to deal with the police. That made the gopniks really angry - they dropped me onto the floor and proceeded kicking me in the face - Russian style. I don't really remember what happened afterwards, but some bystanders outside of the shop called the police, which arrived with I was laying there crying, with several huge bulges on my head, kicks to both eyes, and a hurt leg.

All I wanted was just to hear the reason they refuse to serve transgender people, who are the one in the most need for epilation, since they have much more facial hair than women. I had no intention to break anything in their shop or to start a fight. I would have left after like 10 minutes had the shop owner ignored me, or the shop owner could have called the police, who would have resolved everything without any problems. At the moment I recalled memories from Russia, when local school bullies took away my winter hat, and then beaten me when I attempted to get it back, throwing the hat out of the window.

The police spoke with the shop owner, who told them that I just came to her store and began destroying merchandise, without any reason. So police have immediately cuffed and arrested me, ignoring the goons who began this "fight." In fact, later police have accused me of scratching the lip of the Muslim gopnik - which I think happened when they began pushing me onto the floor, so they could easily beat me. In the end I was thrown into the local Harderwijk jail cell, awaiting interrogation. They confiscated all my belongings, even panties, pantyhose and bra, claiming I could commit a suicide using them, leaving me my wig and skirt. At least they gave me some opaque bag to hide my tits. Still I was sitting there barefoot on a cold floor.

I asked for a free lawyer to be present, but when she arrived, the interrogating officer had already arranged to use a Russian interpreter, without asking me what language I would prefer to use. I object to that, like I usually do when offered to speak Russian. That really angered the interrogator, who wanted to finish this quickly, while the lawyer lady had no time to wait till they arrange an English interpreter, so the interrogation proceeded without a lawyer, who would have greatly helped me.

It is better if you talk to the interrogator, since after hearing your side of the story, they can properly question the other involved people. That is of course only in the case when the cops have intention to discover the actual truth, instead of just convicting you as quickly as possible, or getting a bribe.

The interrogation began with an informal part: interrogator tried to establish the background for why a person legally considered a man would wear women's clothes, he asked standard questions intended to uncover any reason for my criminal behavior (I've not enough money, or I owe money to somebody, or I'm just crazy).

In the formal part of the interrogation, a police officer asks about the actual details related to the crime. I told him my version of the story, as stated here. Interrogator entered it into the computer. After that the interrogator read me the story. The officer either misheard the translator, or the translator has mistranslated (as I understand the translator guy came from some African country, where the English accent is really different) or the officer mis-recorded my statement on some purpose (either to catch me up, or to convict me).

There were two striking differences to what I have told. First. The officer recorded that I came to that shop to demanding them to sell me the laser epilator (which they obviously don't sell), while I've clearly stated that I wanted the device to be used on me as per appointment basis, and that I have only casually inquired receptionist hoping that, as a girl, she may know where such devices are sold.

The second deviation from my story is that I was damaging stuff intentionally, instead of grabbing them, when one of the gopniks was pulling me out, while his collegue raped my phone. All in all, these two statements made me look like a completely insane person, who came to the store demanding to sell something they don't sell, and then began breaking stuff like a maniac.

Of course I objected to that, asking the officer to put correction either at the place where he typed it in, or at the end of the text, that these details are incorrect. Yet the officer refused, and began berating me for refusing to speak Russian, saying that I did that to create him problems, and now he makes problems for me. Now had the lawyer been present here, she would have no doubt consulted me why the officer refused to add the corrections about these misheard statements, but as I already mentioned, that lawyer lady was busy and left when I asked for the English translator, instead of the Russian one.

Compared to the interrogating officer, the lawyer is really fluent in English, and understood me perfectly, when I told her my story. At that time, she reassured me that her presence is not required, and that I have to just tell the officer the same I told her. So in the end, I refused to sign the result of the interrogation, saying that it contained incorrect details, to which the officer said "it is perfect then." So it went into the case and to the prosecutor in this form. And I had no frigging idea. Is there a way to add these corrections, after the interrogation, or during the court time, or to mail them to the prosecutor myself. In any case, the officer has got his shallow revenge, over me refusing to speak in his words "your mother's tongue." Still it is more important for me to maintain integrity, than to submit to such torture.

When the interrogation ended, it was too late for the prosecutor to decide on what to do with me: put me into pre-trial detention or allow me to be outside. And the Hardweijk jail was apparently not suited to hold inmates for more than a few hours. So they sent me to a bigger city jail, Apeldoorn. Where I spent the night and a first half of the 1st October fighting the headache from the goons kicking and punching my head. Then the prosecutor, for some strange reason, decided to let me out. Strange because that misinterpreted/misheard interrogation statement really made me look like a crazy person, who should not roam the streets. Unfortunately the Harderwijk cops have forgotten to send my stuff with me to the Appeldoorn jail. The cops said that is my problem now, and just kicked me out, without the COA id card (which was lost by cops completely, and COA had to reissue me a new one) and the COA debit card, which I could have used to buy tickets. Moreover, Harderwijk cops have also put in some stuff belonging to another person, which they registered as belonging to me.

So I'm standing like naked at the entrance of the Apeldoorn jail. Without my phone, without google maps, without money. The only way back to Harderwijk is the train station, since I'm too weak to walk tens of kilometers. But I don't know where the train station is. So I've asked the first person I stumbled upon outside of the jail. That person, while speaking English, immediately recognizes me as Russian. Because he is from Russia himself, and begins speaking Russian, explaining how to get to the train station, bringing closer my incoming mental collapse. I said "дякую" after he finished his explanation and moved further, finally finding the way to the train station, which has a fence around it with gates requiring tickets, which can only be purchased using a bank card, so begging people for 50 cents is impossible, and Dutch people don't carry cash anyway. They only way in is over the fence, so I had to grab with my injured fingers and pull myself up through the pain. My daily physical exercises came in handy - I lost some weight and finally could solve a common kind of problem - train travel without a fare.

To my further discontent Dutch trains have train managers (conductors), who check that people have paid their fare. Well, let's hope they can find Nancy Gold, since I had no id card on me and have no right to change my legal name, since I'm a political refugee. Finally getting back to Harderwijk police station, I discovered that the cops have lost the majority of my stuff, including the plastic card (literally the only way I can buy food without shoplifting). At first they refused to look for my stuff. But then began tracking down the involved people, and after some time found a large part of my belongings, with a few, like the COA id card, still missing. I have also left them the stuff from the other person, they gave me by mistake. Next is the trial, which will be in January of 2022

Is this how the daily life in the Netherlands is supposed to look like?

Current Mood: frustrated
Current Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KDGMU6sdVBE