The Jack McClellan Panic

Everybody knows somebody who looks like Jack McClellan. With his unassuming demeanour, he could be anybody: a son, brother, chum or boyfriend. In fact, that is why people fear McClellan so much. He reminds them too much of somebody they know. He is too familiar. Yet at the same time, McClellan fearlessly declares his attraction to young girls. He also publishes a website that provides a list of places where one is most likely to be able to observer little girls at play, performing or participating in some sort of activity. Worse still, McClellan openly admits to visiting such events with great regularity, solely for the purpose of admiring any young girls that might be attending. McClellan’s website, STEGL, is nothing new. Amarsi have long been watching local listings for places to go where they might observe children. McClellan has simply brought the practice into the open. By doing so, he has directly challenged the status quo which is to pretend that people such as he do not exist.

People would prefer to believe that amarsi do not or cannot blend seamlessly into society. It is more comforting to think that an amarso is a profoundly isolated person who locks himself up in his home, venturing out only when necessary or — worse still — to claim a child victim. They would like to think that he is somebody who is easily spotted because of behavioural oddities or some other distinguishing feature. It flies in the face of their sensibilities then that a person like McClellan has for years been attending children’s events and even taking pictures of the children, largely unnoticed. He is the embodiment of everything they do not wish for an amarso to be: timid, ordinary and harmless. The fact that he has no criminal record infuriates them even more as they can do absolutely nothing to prevent him from doing what he does.

The fact of the matter is that some of McClellan’s behaviour is quite ordinary for childlovers. Many of us gravitate towards places where children congregate. Go to any fun fair, children’s performance, fast food restaurant or other popular children’s hangout and there are bound to be amarsi. We are everywhere and we are not necessarily the lone man with the camera. We may be in the company of friends or family, with partners or spouses, perhaps even with our own children. We may have grey hair or we may be in our teens. We may be men or women. In fact, we might be your friend, your partner, your spouse, your sibling or your parent. Would you think any less of us if we told you pointblank that we enjoy being around and appreciating the beauty of little girls or boys? Would you throw us out for admitting that we have such an attraction, even if we have never ‘acted upon’ that attraction? Do you really prefer for us to do our gazing secretly rather than being open with you about it?

It would be easier and safer for us and for you if we could tell you about our feelings. As it is, most of us are afraid to tell anybody — even those closest to us — that we have these feelings. Instead, we go, often for our entire lives, with our secret attraction, hoping that nobody notices that we look longingly at chldren. We hope that our practiced nonchalance when somebody else switches the channel to girl’s gymnastics is not noticed for what it is. We hope that our secret excitement when we accompany our children to see the latest children’s film, starring our favourite child actor or actress, is not noticed. We hope that our admiration for a child performing on stage is not mistaken for something more profound.

Before you write off Jack McClellan as a freak, an oddity or a buffoon, look carefully around you. It is almost certain that there is a Jack McClellan in your life. He or she might work in a shop you visit regularly. You might find McClellan at your children’s school. McClellan might be your child’s coach. In fact, McClellan might be sitting across the couch from you. He might even be in your bed. So be careful what you call Jack. You might well be branding somebody close to you as well.