Elden Ring's platforming is so bad it's good

I think "platformer" and my next thought is "slick". Hollow Knight springs to mind, as does Ori, as does Celeste. They all have precise and snappy movement, with upgrades and new abilities that add complexity without stodge. As for 3D platformers, Super Mario 64 remains a glowing example of how movement makes exploration joyful. String together rolls and jumps and you're not just navigating a world, but bounding through it like a gymnast (who's also a part time plumber to help pay the costs of serious competition).

Elden Ring is a terrible platformer. It's stiff and awkward and less gymnast, more Gimli on the Buckfast. But this is what makes its platforming sections good. They force you to embrace your limited toolset and channel your amateur longjumping, golfing, and climbing skills you definitely don't have.

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