I have always been hysterical
Russian Internet is full of my hysterical whining going more than 20 years into the past. And I have always been jealous of women getting everything easy by just monetizing their body. All while I born a man had to be responsible, have good education and skills. https://joblab.ru/community/1/14314/8/
And people insulted me for being an unmanly hysterical faggot. Now when I'm in transition the same people will say that I should have just worked hard to be a real man.