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Friday, December 22nd, 2023
| Time | Event |
| 11:12a | Normalization of Homosexuality Normalization of Homosexuality is bad for a good reason: when you normalize gay, you erase transsexuals. And I don't mean these transtrending queer faggot kids, but true TS people, like me. When one says that feminine men are okay, one implies that transitioning is a "conversion therapy." So instead of HRT and surgeries, gender clinics suddenly offer me anti-depressants and anti-psychotics. Because they believe it is totally okay to be an unmanly male and there is no such thing as a failed man. And therefore I just need help to accept the birth assigned body. That is due to the gay rights, which fundamentally conflict with the trans rights.  Current Mood:  contemplativeCurrent Music: cYsmix - Escapism (Original Mix) |
| 1:15p | Manliness When I was 18, Russia had a forced 2 year conscription law. I just threatened the conscription office with a mass shooting, and they gave me schizophrenia diagnosis so I evaded the service. Most gays and other MtFs of my age I know served in the army, because they were too feminine and conformist to lash back and point the gun at their compatriots. If you conscript a cis girl, she will be too weak to object. So being callous, rebelling against the masculinity, your entire culture and country is actually the manliest thing one can do, while socializing with other men, going to gym to adhere to the manly stereotypes is something effeminate gay men are used to do, because they are afraid to fight and afraid to die. Real men invite death, and are not afraid to kill themselves. Suicide is the most honorable and manly act in many cultures, including Islamic (shaheeds), Roman, Viking and Japanese.  |
| 3:00p | Cis girls desire men who killing trans girls Somehow every woman loves the strong "hunter" men who kill the weak: https://metro.co.uk/2023/12/20/bria  Current Mood: contemplativeCurrent Music: Censor Design - Plastic Fantastic |
| 3:34p | Brain damage causes BPD? Most of these borderline red flags apply to me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLXMBVb Although I don't have super massive mood shifts, except throwing tantrums. But tantrums are a way unmanly people deal with frustration. And I know one thing for sure, I sustained brain damage several times in my life: 1. during birth; 2. when the village kids beaten me. And brain damage to frontal lobe can trigger a multitude of personality disorders. That could be the reason I felt not fitting into the male role since childhood. On the other hand my brother is also gay and had hormonal imbalance (heightened estrogen level). But brain damage can cause hormonal imbalance too, since hormonal system gets feedback from the brain. https://www.cognitivefxusa.com/blog/pos Common hormonal problems after a brain injury: Growth hormone deficiency Adrenal insufficiency Hypothyroidism Hypogonadism Hyperprolactinemia Antidiuretic hormone (ADH) insufficiency I likely also had "Antidiuretic hormone (ADH) insufficiency", resulting in bed-wetting, which is very common in psychopathy - also a frequent result of frontal lobe damage. I think they did numerous frontal lobotomies, after which previously empathic people turned into psychopaths. So blocking testosterone, while removing the aggression I had, doesn't cure other issues, like being unable to build an intuitive mental model of other people and relate with them. I do believe estradiol somehow improved my feelings and understanding of other and by myself, likely by activating some circuitry which goes around the birth time damage. But yeag, I still have to use higher level logical reasoning for that, which is basically what autists and psychopaths do. https://www.thetreetop.com/aba-ther https://usa-law.org/traumatic-brain-inj Examples of behavioral changes after a TBI can include: Mood swings Aggressive behavior Childlike behavior Obsessive thoughts or habits Egocentric or self-centered behavior Difficulties with self-control Engaging in risky behaviors Verbal or physical outbursts Social challenges Inappropriate sexual behavior The psychological effects of a brain injury can be frightening. A TBI can trigger narcissistic personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, and aggressive behavior. If you notice examples of behavioral changes after a brain injury, immediately consult with your physician. So I can't blame psychiatrists failing to properly diagnose me. I so fucked up my symptoms don't match any precise diagnosis but get distributed across multiple ones.  Current Mood: contemplative |
| 7:48p |
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