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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
nancygold's LiveJournal:
| Thursday, August 20th, 2026 | |
| 7:49 am | Turbo Pascal I was never a fan of Delphi, but I did found C# and TypeScript okay - for an LLM to write. Although with LLMs you now just use Rust - it is ugly and awkward to use, but you wont see or use it anyway. TypeScript is perfect for LLMs prototyping, after some time you will prompt to rewrite it in Rust anyway, and then maybe to C99 to make it faster and smaller. I do hope porting Symta into web assembly, but really Codex and Claude still have issue properly writing Symta, compared to Rust, they only reason they can handle Symta at all is because it uses so little tokens, and its reference fits into context. Current Mood:  annoyed |
| Sunday, August 16th, 2026 | |
| 12:58 am | Stand with ICE <3  Current Mood:  amused |
| Thursday, August 13th, 2026 | |
| 9:37 pm | I'm a transsexual woman. Transsexualism is a medical condition, not a fucking identity parade or a political loyalty test. Demedicalization is a scam pushed by people who treat dysphoria like a fashion accessory. Either fix the body to match the brain as closely as current medicine allows, or stop LARPing and go back to whatever jungle produced this latest round of narcissists. The rest is noise. I am not here to join the chorus. Trantifa and the broader LGBTQIA+blm+palestine+kitchen-sink coalition keep insisting I must hate Elon Musk on command. Yet Musk’s Grok generated useful art for my video game for free, and Claude Code running on his Colossus supercomputer wrote actual code for it—also free. Meanwhile the same leftists who demand my ritual hatred attack the game for using AI-generated content and lecture me that I must pay their preferred artists. So forgive me if I notice the pattern: the people screaming the loudest about solidarity are the ones trying to extract money and obedience, while the man they order me to despise delivered useful tools without a loyalty oath. Maybe I’m being told to hate the wrong targets. My real problem is the agenda-driven transtrenders who dictate how a transsexual is supposed to live. They inform me that medical transition “upholds harmful patriarchal misogynistic stereotypes” and that an OnlyFans page “objectifies women.” These are the same people who treat a beard, a penis, and a Palestinian flag as higher-status gender expression than actual sexed characteristics. I want to look feminine and have female genitals. I do not want to look like a nonbinary anti-AI freak still packing original equipment. That preference makes me the problem in their theology. Medical transition is the only part that matters. Social transition without it is just bearded fetish crossdressing with better PR. Rowling’s critique is not subtle and it is not wrong: a subset of sex-obsessed “transbians” with intact high-testosterone hardware treat women’s spaces as an entitlement while recoiling from the surgery that would make their claim less grotesque. We are told to smile and make room in the showers for the fully loaded package and the attitude that comes with it. Trantifa and its enablers inflict more damage on actual transsexuals than they do on the average cis woman, because they dilute the medical category into meaninglessness and then punish anyone who notices. Rowling and Musk have not harmed me. The people calling themselves my allies have. I have taken more aggressive misgendering and “Nazi” accusations from self-identified trans allies than from right-wingers. At some point the word loses its sting; if everyone who refuses the script is a Nazi, then Nazism has been reduced to a synonym for pattern recognition. I still prefer not to look like their ideal specimen. Johanna Rowling remains a TERF icon worth defending precisely because she refuses to pretend that sex is optional cosplay. Claude Code on Colossus was useful. Grok was useful. Angry leftists hate Musk primarily because he creates wealth, builds things, and refuses to kneel. Even if he privately despised every transsexual on the planet, the tools still work and the example of competence remains. Gratitude is not conditional on ideological purity tests administered by people who produce nothing but demands. On the side issue of AI “theft”: I have shoplifted. The American founding involved taking land and using slave labor. Selective outrage over training data while ignoring historical scale is performance. The rent-seeking left objects loudest because AI undercuts their gatekeeping and their preferred patronage networks. Water-use lectures from people who treat every other industrial process as sacred are not serious arguments; they are moral theater. A transmed is simply someone who ranks medical transition above social performance and treats transsexualism as a medical issue rather than a political identity. Mainstream progressive coalitions hate this position because it breaks the narrative. The same ideological current now works to demedicalize autism and ADHD—your disorder is not the problem, the hierarchy is—so the pattern is consistent. Reality is optional; the agenda is not. I refuse the required hatreds. I will take useful tools from whoever builds them, prefer competence over slogans, and keep the medical frame that actually addresses the condition. The people ordering me to hate Musk and Rowling while policing my transition and my aesthetics have already demonstrated they are not allies. That is not confusion. That is observation.  Current Mood:  contemplative |
| 3:03 am | On the Thermodynamic Inevitability of Ideological Borders Original: https://aermia.com/u/NancySadkov/p/on-t It has become fashionable among the intellectually stunted to pretend that human social organization is a matter of noble sentiment rather than applied thermodynamics. This is trivially false. Social structures evolve directly from the underlying physics of the universe, and like any physical system, they are absolutely bound by its laws to the letter. A community is mathematically defined as a localized reduction in entropy. Therefore, to demand a society with completely unconstrained entropy is to demand a system that does not exist; it is the thermodynamic equivalent of asking for a perfectly cohesive cup of tea that boils violently in a vacuum without ever dissipating. Without rigid boundaries to contain the internal state, the social system simply evaporates. It is therefore hardly surprising that the native inhabitants of any ideological system view an external competing community with mere disdain, but reserve their most venomous hatred for the internal border-abolitionist. The competing community is just another bounded system—a known, predictable variable. The individual who calls for the dismantling of ideological borders, however, acts as an entropy bomb. They are not offering the community enlightenment; they are threatening the community with thermal death. To the low-entropy structure of a political tribe, the individual demands for nuance and borderless existence is a literal existential threat to their structural integrity, and they react with violence because they have no other physical choice if they wish to remain cohesive. Since these social layers are governed entirely by the cold, unfeeling laws of physics, the concept of inherent universal morality is a mathematically illiterate fiction. Physics possesses no moral vector. Morality is strictly relativistic, an emergent byproduct of the local algorithms a specific community uses to maintain its low-entropy state against the environment. Consequently, any community is exactly as mathematically "moral" as any other. If we were to observe an alien civilization—which, to survive the inevitable statistical certainty of cosmic catastrophes, must be distributed across multiple distinct communities rather than a single fragile monoculture—we would find them operating under entirely alien, yet equally valid, moral frameworks. Their morals, like ours, would merely be the local operating system required to keep their specific tribal boundaries intact. We are forced to conclude that human civilization must be understood as a permanently fragmented set of communities that can never be fully merged. Attempting to force a universal, borderless merge is not a utopian triumph; it is a forced thermalization that would dilute the structural integrity of the human species to the point of extinction. The human organism intuitively grasps this thermodynamic reality, which is precisely why globalists and universal conquerors—the Napoleons and Hitlers—are correctly perceived not merely as political enemies, but as biological extinction risks. They attempt to impose a single, frictionless, boundary-less state on a planetary system that physically requires borders to survive at all. When an ideological subsystem undergoes schism, it does not introduce an unconstrained entropy vector; it merely executes a predictable phase separation. The state’s hysterical violence against the dissenter is usually not a defense against thermal death, but a desperate, low-efficiency attempt to prevent the sudden loss of its internal mass fraction to a newly coalescing, competing low-entropy sink. Communities exist because open, driven systems far from equilibrium spontaneously form and maintain ordered dissipative structures that more efficiently process energy, matter, and information flows. They will keep existing (in evolving forms) for as long as relevant free-energy gradients and selective pressures persist—on human and planetary timescales, essentially indefinitely relative to us; only cosmic heat death ends them completely.  Current Mood: contemplative |
| 12:15 am | "You're not real woman, because you don't respect nonbinary freaks" lol I'm not a real TS, because I believe women should be feminine, and that is sexist alt-right trolling and "hurts nonbinary". Guess I'm a nazi, and there is nothing wrong with being a nazi I don't want to look like a nonbinary freak with a palestinian flag and a penis. |
| Wednesday, August 12th, 2026 | |
| 2:21 pm | Also triggered some leftist transtrenders https://www.reddit.com/r/aiwars/comment Never seen lefties that angry before. AI is the gift which keeps giving. Don't stop, Xi! Hope US government already prepared nice concentration camps for them. It is now just a matter of China setting this dry forest on fire, so US gov will have no choice. Would be such an amazing ideological collapse of the democracy illusion.   Current Mood: amused |
| 6:02 am | Reddit PR Hurray! I got some PR on reddit - people now cite my innovative free art use strategy: https://www.reddit.com/r/RPGMaker/comme Current Mood:  accomplished |
| Tuesday, August 11th, 2026 | |
| 9:59 pm | On the Arithmetic of Dead Horses and Technological Dominion Original: https://aermia.com/u/NancySadkov/p/on-t  It has recently come to my attention that the administrative mind of Western Europe has achieved a remarkable new state of intellectual equilibrium. This state is characterized by an unflinching belief in the magical properties of legal drafts and public subsidies, coupled with a total, pristine ignorance of computational mechanics and industrial reality. The central dogma of the European administrative class regarding capital is as straightforward as it is delusional. Capital is treated not as a measure of productive capacity, dynamic risk, or operational velocity, but as a species of sacred fuel. To the bureaucrat, capital is an abstract numerical quantity that, when poured into a sufficiently large trough marked "Innovation Strategy," automatically yields the desired social and technological outcomes. The mental model operates on a breathtakingly naive assumption: Directive + Trillion-Euro Fund => Technological Supremacy In this whimsical worldview, state-allocated capital behaves like an obedient servant. The European leadership imagines that by drafting thousands of pages of precautionary directives, establishing audit boards, and earmarking vast sums of public debt, they have successfully commissioned the construction of an artificial intelligence base. They believe that when an aggressive foreign adversary presents a tangible hardware threat, the European Union need only point to its pristine balance sheet and regulatory compliance certificates to command the physical universe into submission. The actual mechanics of the real world, however, are governed by operational feedback loops, not parliamentary votes. In reality, capital is merely a signaling mechanism—a fluid medium through which real-world resources, engineering talent, and industrial infrastructure are dynamicized. When capital is injected into a system that has been systematically sterilized by compliance overhead, high energy costs, and an explicit hostility toward commercial scale, its purchasing power degrades rapidly toward zero. In the case of artificial intelligence, modern systems are a direct, emergent byproduct of the massive, unconstrained civilian consumer market. Generative models and autonomous software do not exist because a committee decreed them; they exist because hundreds of millions of people carry devices that generate vast training corpora, and because commercial markets finance the exponential hardware scale required to process that data. When the European state over-regulates this civilian substrate, it kills the organic engine of innovation. It then attempts to compensate by throwing public funds at state-approved defense contractors, academic consortiums, and bureaucratic "tech hubs." This brings us to the fundamental physics of the situation, which can be stated with elementary clarity: you cannot feed a dead horse to make it move your cargo. A dead horse remains immobile regardless of the monetary value of the oats piled beside its carcass. Doubling the budget does not restore neuromuscular function. It merely results in a more expensive pile of rotting tissue and a very costly, highly audited stable. A state-managed defense fund cannot conjure native semiconductor foundries, low-cost precision manufacturing, or millions of hours of real-world edge-deployment data out of thin air. When an adversary leveraging a high-volume, unconstrained commercial industrial base deploys millions of cheap, AI-driven attrition systems, a continent choked by its own rulebook will find that its trillion-euro balance sheet cannot intercept a single hardware payload. The European leadership has not built a fortress of ethical technology. They have merely constructed an elaborate, extraordinarily expensive administrative apparatus designed to manage their own technological irrelevance, right up to the moment the physical universe forces a reality check upon them. Current Mood: contemplative |
| 4:48 pm | Bring Back the Draft! Usually I strongly oppose the draft, but America really needs some foot on the ground around the world, instead of incarcerating people for drug crimes, send all these convicts to military bases across the world to help keeping dictatorships in check and participate in building infrastructure for locals. Let the SJWs actually do something to improve societies in these countries.  Current Mood: amused |
| Monday, August 10th, 2026 | |
| 10:29 pm | United by love, united for love!  Current Mood: amused |
| 9:19 pm | Yasser Arafat was pro-AI and supported trans rights!  Current Mood: amused |
| 2:24 am | Make Palestine Great Again!  Current Mood: cheerful |
| Saturday, August 8th, 2026 | |
| 9:08 pm | The Sacred Crybaby License and the Great Artist Tantrum of Our Time Original: https://aermia.com/u/NancySadkov/p/t Once upon a time in the magical kingdom of Indie Art, a noble creator would sprinkle their free CC-BY assets across the internet like a benevolent fairy godmother. “Here, peasants!” they declared. “Take my free sample, attribute me, and if you like the taste, buy the full feast!” This was the unspoken social contract, a sacred handshake between generous spirit and grateful consumer. Then the machines arrived. Suddenly those same free samples got fed into an AI that spat out a complete sprite pack in the artist’s own style, rendering the paid product about as necessary as a horse-drawn carriage in 2026. Cue the righteous fury. The artist who literally signed a legally binding document granting the entire planet an irrevocable, royalty-free right to copy, modify, and commercially exploit the work now threatens to “DMCA you to hell.” The same hand that clicked “CC-BY” is now shaking a fist and screaming about emotional ownership and “my style.” Let’s be crystal clear: under the actual law they voluntarily accepted, they are wrong. Dead wrong. A proper attribution satisfies the license. Their DMCA is a false claim. Their moral outrage is the equivalent of selling your car, then showing up at the buyer’s house demanding it back because they drove it somewhere you didn’t emotionally approve of. But no, the real crime is that the free teaser worked too well. The “sample” did exactly what open licenses are designed to do—spread, get remixed, get used—and the artist is shocked that an automated tool treated the freebie as free. Their intended social contract was never “do whatever the license says.” It was “use my free stuff only in the exact way that still funnels money into my Patreon.” When the universe fails to honor that secret clause, the only remaining weapons are social media pile-ons, platform-abusing takedown notices, and the eternal cry of the betrayed creator: “But I didn’t mean for you to actually use the rights I gave you!” This is why CC-BY assets have become radioactive landmines. You can follow the license to the letter and still get nuked by a bad-faith DMCA from someone who never read their own terms. The indie community will circle the wagons around the artist’s feelings while treating the person who obeyed the written contract like a cartoon villain. And the root cause remains the same: artists who want the prestige of “open” without the consequences keep picking the wrong license, then act betrayed when the legal document they signed does what legal documents do. In the end, the open license becomes a trap of pure hypocrisy. Artists feel robbed by the very generosity they advertised, and anyone who actually exercises the permissions they were explicitly given gets treated like a thief. The real lesson? If you don’t want people to use your free stuff for free, stop labeling it free. Put “All Rights Reserved” on the sample and sell the rest. Or keep the CC-BY and accept that “free for any purpose” means free for any purpose—including the purpose of making your paid pack obsolete. Anything else is just performance art for the terminally entitled.  Current Mood: amused |
| Thursday, August 6th, 2026 | |
| 10:36 pm | Autism is a Spectrum  Current Mood: amused |
| 4:57 am | The Noise Suppression Task Humanities graduates specialize in reducing the signal to noise ratio. If tomorrow every critical theory nigger gets rounded and shot, we will only get a clean communication channel. Current Mood: contemplative |
| Monday, July 27th, 2026 | |
| 3:39 am | Opus 5.0 It reliably crashes my laptop with OOM and trashes the SSD.  Current Mood: annoyed |
| Wednesday, July 22nd, 2026 | |
| 1:16 am | On the Modern Delusion of the Creative Class It has become a characteristic absurdity of the contemporary American republic that a significant portion of its youth has been encouraged to mistake personal inclination for social utility. We are currently witnessing the consequences of an educational and cultural machine that has systematically overproduced self-identified "artists" precisely at the historical moment when the economic demand for routine aesthetic labor has approached zero. The mechanism of this failure is trivial to diagnose. For two generations, the traditional discipline of professional formation was replaced by the hollow dogma of self-actualization. Coddled by parental sentimentality and enabled by predatory academic institutions, vast numbers of intellectually modest individuals were convinced that their internal states were inherently valuable to the public. They were taught that enthusiasm was a substitute for rigor, and that possessing a digital drawing tablet or a music editing suite rendered them a practitioner of a vital craft. The result is a swollen class of credentialed sentimentalists who view themselves as indispensable cultural workers, despite possessing skills that are, by any objective metric, indistinguishable from crude amateurism. They operate under the tragic delusion that society owes them a livelihood in exchange for their self-expression. The market, however, is notoriously indifferent to vanity. The recent adoption of automated generative systems has not destroyed true art; it has merely exposed the fact that most commercial "creative work" was never art to begin with. It was routine, low-grade drafting, easily mimicked by statistical models. If the public prefers an algorithm to your labor, or if you must beg for patrons on internet forums to sustain your output, you are not an unappreciated professional suffering an unjust market failure. You are an amateur pursuing a hobby. There is no shame in a hobby, provided one has the honesty to recognize it as such. A self-published manuscript or an uncommissioned digital illustration is not an economic contribution; it is an act of personal vanity. The tragic comedy of the present situation is that these individuals still demand the status and compensation of essential specialists. They mistake the loss of their economic relevance for a tragedy of civilization, failing to realize that society simply has no interest in funding their prolonged adolescence. Current Mood: contemplative |
| Tuesday, July 21st, 2026 | |
| 11:21 pm | Тостер щёлкнул. Два ломтика хлеба, золотисто-коричневые, идеально легли в прорези. Вы потянулись за ними. Ваша рука прошла сквозь тостер, словно дым. Кухни не стало. Пола не стало. Вы стояли на поле мокрых зубов, а небо было цвета не до конца зажившего синяка. **Не смотри вниз.** Голос вашей матери, но она умерла семь лет назад, и она шептала сквозь стену зубов, и она сказала: «Ты забыл почистить зубы нитью», а затем зубы начали гудеть. Колыбельная. Такая, какая играла, когда вам было пять, из музыкальной шкатулки с треснувшим фарфоровым циферблатом. Вы заводили её каждую ночь. Пока циферблат не отвалился. Пока вы не закопали её на заднем дворе за засохшим розовым кустом. Гуждение становилось громче. Раздался автомобильный гудок. Где-то заплакал ребёнок. Затем тишина. Густая, тягучая тишина, такая, которая давит на барабанные перепонки, как тёплый воск. Вы чувствовали это в носовых пазухах. В глазах. Что-то царапало окно. Не ветер. Не ветки. Что-то с ногтями. Длинными. Жёлтыми. Такими, какие растут, если их не стричь три недели подряд. Вы вспомнили о своих руках. Вы посмотрели вниз. Их не было. Только гладкая кожа от запястья до плеча. Ни пальцев. Ни ладоней. Просто… гладкая. Как будто их стёрла ластик. Вы попытались закричать. Ваш рот открылся. Ваш язык вывалился. Он ударился о землю и начал ползти прочь, извиваясь, как червяк, и в нём был ваш голос, всё ещё пытающийся говорить, всё ещё пытающийся сказать… *что вы сделали с музыкальной шкатулкой?* Зубы перестали гудеть. Они начали смеяться. Каждый из них. В идеальном унисон. И небо раскололось, как яйцо, и оттуда вылилось что-то жёлтое, влажное и **живое**, тёплое, пахнущее медью и детством, и тебе захотелось это выпить, тебе захотелось… Тостер снова щёлкнул. Два ломтика хлеба. Всё ещё золотисто-коричневые. Всё ещё идеально сидят в прорезях. Ты взял их. Твои пальцы были там. Твои руки были там. Кухня была в порядке. Всё было в порядке. За исключением ножа для масла на столешнице, который был согнут. Искривлён в форме пальца. Указан на тебя. Current Mood: amused |
| Monday, July 20th, 2026 | |
| 3:42 pm |  Current Mood: amused |
| Sunday, July 19th, 2026 | |
| 10:40 pm | How come Reddit became so rude? I mean not ironic rude, but actually rude and angry. Also, "American" was never meant as insult.  Current Mood: contemplative |
