Настроение:	tired
Музыка:	Ianva - Italia Ultimo Atto
Entry tags:	smeshnoe

"We're The Aristocrats!"
Вместо того, чтобы работать,
читал про лучшую в мире RPG.
http://1d4chan.org/wiki/FATAL

...Y'know, a group of players actually once tried to talk me
into running Fatal for them once. I didn't know them that
well, just met them through an ad at my local gaming
store. So this guy Dave (names changed to protect the
guilty) was apparently their spokesperson and I asked him
about the kind of characters they wanted to play.

Whoo boy.

Dave himself played an elven warrior with a 15" wide anus
(apparently he rolled for this). He had a fat whale of a
girlfriend called Mary who had another elf, except some
sort of thief-type, whose vagina could only hold 4 inches
worth of penetration. I shit you not, they made a point of
telling me this. Apparently she had also rolled for all
sorts of other bizarre details, like nipples a full inch
long and two inches wide, on breasts that were only A
cup. I tried to explain this sort of stuff could be left
up to the player, as she obviously disliked this
character's appearance, but she wouldn't have any of it.

Anyway, there was also Chris and Stephen. Chris and
motherfucking Stephen. They had both rolled "Anakim", some
sort of half-demon race like tieflings. The players
themselves were a little too young and horny (especially
when around eachother), but they made great effort to
impress upon me their characters' special gifts. Chris'
little monster made babies scream, and when he touched
them they had to shit, piss, and vomit all at once. I
think he liked to fuck them afterwards. Stephen's sorry
excuse for a tiefling had a penis over five feet long. I
checked the book, I swear it's possible. It could've been
longer even. Oh, and his character with the giant penis?
She was called Anastyasa Darkmoon.

When I asked them about what sort of adventures they'd
like to do, they basically began to describe raping
Mary. Not the character per se, just Mary. And take a dump
on her chest and god knows what else. The poor girl
must've been brainwashed or just starved for human
contact, because she seemed to put up with it rather than
kicking their asses.

Chris was just about to ask me if I minded to roleplay
scenes where he'd fuck vomitting babies, when I just
couldn't take anymore and shouted, "Who the fuck are you
people?!"

And they exclaimed: "We're The Aristocrats!"

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