nancygold: Got kicked out of Dutch lessons

Настроение:	anxious
Entry tags:	transitioning

Got kicked out of Dutch lessons
I'm probably the only refugee in class who hasn't skipped a single lesson. So I attended as usual, but the teacher, Ate, instead took me to a private room and told me that I'm no longer welcome, and I should be looking for some other teacher. I asked why - he replied "because you use google translate, while I speak." I do use the smartphone, but it has the sound turned off and I only use it to translate the words I don't understand, because interrupting the teacher's speech to ask about it would be extremely rude. Other pupils, too, use phones, and not for google translate, but for chatting and with sounds, yet Ate had to pick on me for some reason. And that reason is me recently coming out as a girl and asking to refer to me as Nancy. Before that Ate had no complaints about me, since I'm the most quiet attendee, but me wearing girly clothes made this conservative man visibly irritated, even if I don't dress like a slut and my attire is rather modest. Anyway, I'm now looking for other opportunities to learn Dutch, but do I really need to learn the language, when its carries believe I'm unworthy of learning it?

I'm also looking towards making some money, but since I'm not allowed to open a checking account to work online, I seriously consider prostitution. Yet most guys on grindr are ready to pay me to fuck them, but I'm like bottom, and prefer to be fucked myself. These transphobes also get horrified at the prospect of a girl cutting off her dick. Several gays called me "crazy" for wanting SRS, and insisted "you're a man."

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	(Анонимно) 2021-10-18 15:08 (ссылка)
	Those who have money won't buy. those who might buy won't pay the money. Welcome to capitalism. And no, you aren't a girl even if you cut off your dick or take whatever pills you're taking. You are just an average dumb male idiot forever. (Ответить) (Ветвь дискуссии)

	(Анонимно) 2021-10-18 16:22 (ссылка)
	But anyway don't forget to report the teacher to his management. Like you wrote here: you're having your difficulties but trying very hard and attending every class. Add some usual crap of yours if you want them to feel the urge to throw you out for good. (Ответить) (Уровень выше) (Ветвь дискуссии)

	nancygold 2021-10-18 16:49 (ссылка)
	I don't want that to happen. Other people need a teacher too, even if he is homophobic and very conservative. I guess it is really hard to find a person willing to work with refugees. (Ответить) (Уровень выше)

	(Анонимно) 2021-10-18 16:11 (ссылка)
	Your value as a prostitute is probably negative -- i.e. once they get a close look at you, you'll have to pay them money to have sex with you, not otherwise. (Ответить)

	rex_weblen 2021-10-18 23:46 (ссылка)
	You always have right to choose SRS, the only ethical solution to the patriarchy. (Ответить)

mattekudasai
2021-10-19 17:32 (ссылка)

> These transphobes also get horrified at the
> prospect of a girl cutting off her dick

Not trying to criticise your decision, just a side note.
From my observation, there is the tendency when you make some important life decision and get disappointed after. But this time it will be irreversible.

There is enough evidence on the web that SRS often results in disappointment, depression and suicide. Main point that instead of real vulva you get smelly rotten non-healing wound you need to dilate painfully every single day.

Nancy, i wish you well and respect your urge to cut the dick off, but there are things in our life we should consider bad luck and sustain it. You still can be a she/tranny with functional male genitalia. Anyway, good luck with whatever decision you make.

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