Настроение:	contemplative
Музыка:	https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKRHWT6xdEU
Entry tags:	transitioning

Reasons for Transitioning
For myself I have counted the following reasons:
1. I have hormonal imbalance since the puberty, therefore high pitched voice and female breast. Even when I was back in Russia, I constantly got comments from Russians in the vein of "get the fuck out of my country you faggot," "go to a place like Netherlands" and "the likes of you are not welcome here"
2. I kept being pointed (even by my mother) that I don't behave like a proper man, have hysterics, and generally not dominant enough, not trying hard enough. In other words, I'm a loser as a man. Yet it is completely acceptable for a girl to be a loser and a sissy, and to cray when she fails. Nobody expects a girl to overdo it. So instead of trying hard to be a man, can try a little to be a girl.
3. I feel uncomfortable with the body hair, having baldness and wearing the ugly clothes for men. I want to be beautiful. Female hormones and testosterone blockers could give me my natural hair back, while removing the facial hair, or turning it into easily epilable fluff.
4. I'm attracted to well groomed gay people. And to myself be attractive to them, I need to have good and sexy looks.
5. I believe doing estrogens would help boosting my programming skills and
creativity further. Estrogen can be that ultimate mind expanding drug, which is actually helpful in the long run.
6. Despite more points of failure, women generally live longer, due to a multitude of factors, especially if they do HRT after menopause. So doing estrogen and blocking tests can prolong your life by like 5-10 years.
7. Russians hate gay people, so becoming a girl is a way to further distance myself from their ugly culture. Yes. I would rather chop my balls off, than deal with Russians again. That is how bad Russia is.
8. I like trying different things and see the world from a different vantage point? After all, you live only once.
9. Cock and balls really get into the way and sweat continuously. But with a proper neo-vagina surgery you can still enjoy sex, although in very different way, all while being free of these silly items.
10. Good feminine looks can really help with career. Taken all other factors equal, HR will pick the applicant with nicest looking photo, since such person will also work as a good decoration in their office. Good looks is even more important if you run your own business, since you must deal with the clients and represent your business yourself.
11. I began HRT, while being on the edge of a complete mental breakdown, hoping testosterone blocking will improve my mood, or at least prevent me from going postal, because lowering testosterone lowers aggression, distress and makes people calmer. HRT indeed helped here. I feel much better now.
12. As a software engineer I feel I have the right to reprogram my body to better suit my needs, just like I do that with software.